to s—

emily allison

it’s like i am looking inside an oyster.
i’ve pried it open & it’s empty—
over & over again i have worked it,
letting the calcium slide up into my
cuts, aragonite under my nails. at you
i worked, at you i pried. i think
i opened you too early. you & me & this
oyster, we are schrödinger’s oyster, i am
hoping for this conchiolin ball & instead
i am killing the oyster, i am crushing the
pearl into powder—i swallow it in a pill.
& this is all really humorous in the end
because maybe i just wanted you as
another pearl on my chain, another person
to point to & say look who else i fixed.
but with you i didn’t want to fix, with
you i wanted to keep the oyster shut
& admire from the outside & then
suddenly i was prying & the salt burned
& i didn’t even realize it was you until
my hands were inside of you, until i
realized the cavity had already been
scraped clean.

Emily Allison is a writer based out of upstate South Carolina. She was the 2020-2021 and the 2021-2022 South Carolina state champion/nationalist for Poetry Out Loud, has been published in Havik Magazine: Homeward for her poem "I Hate Rabbits," and is the creative nonfiction editor for CrashTest Magazine. She just recently won the Jan Bailey Prize and the Poetry Ourselves Award for her poem, “galatea,” and her poetry was featured on the TV show “By the River.” She performed her poetry in the Elevate Showcase and for the Greenville Symphony. She was also a recipient of the 2022 and the 2023 YoungArts award for her poetry. She owes her success to her family, friends, both of her beautiful hometowns, and Dr. Pepper.