Saint

lila holler

Lyrics:

Two decades in the blink of an eye 

And I still think about him every second every night 

Anyone I meet is just him in disguise 

Anyone I see knows him well but they lie 

I don’t want to carry damage 

I want to feel good 

Not yet the talk of the town just the whisper of a neighborhood 

And it’s fine I can live with a lie or two I’ve lived with plenty before just like they told me too 

But if I was a saint would you still say name 

Would you remember my past of it wasn’t for shame 

Would you remember my present or just my pain 

Would you share a thought just to eat my brain 

Would love me when the deal was done or would you just find what I lacked in a different someone

Sometimes I want to kill him in cold blood sometimes I wanna lean into his side feeling fuzzy with love

I want him to suffer just as much as I 

But I want him to regret this for the rest of his life 

Want him to know what it’s like to be ruined 

But I want to love him in the ways that she couldn’t 

Yeah I want to touch him, hands cold as ice 

Pleased and hurting at the same time 

Until it snaps and feels my pain 

want him to understand what he did to my brain 

There’s no way out once your trapped inside 

Grasping at straws deep in a landslide 

But if I was a Saint would you say my name 

Would you remember my past 

If it wasn’t for shame 

Would you remember my presence or just my pain 

Would you share a thought just to eat my brains 

Would you love me when the deal was done 

Or fine what I lacked in a different someone

Lila Holler is a junior in the singer-songwriter program at Interlochen Arts Academy. She is from Ocean View, Delaware. With a lifelong background in vocal music and musical theater, around a year ago Lila picked up a guitar, wrote her first song and never looked back! You may have heard her recently on IPR, at Up North Pride or playing live in the lobby of Hemingway House. Lila has received awards and recognition from the Scholastic Art & Writing Awards, CS Music and the Junior Theater Festival.